Transmissions 
..........Activating Directional Antenna............
..........Searching for Earth.......................
..........Earth Found!..............................
..........Synchronizing Chronometers................
Chronomike = 20070131
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Transmission # = 8642215021481005364
Rotation Increment = 8:42 PM
Alien Transmissions Roundup
I was tuning my directional antenna today and came across these gems that I wanted to share with you:- My Outsourced Life (Work Safe)
- Read this article about a man who researched the outsourcing phenomenon by outsourcing his own life including conversations with his wife to the lovely people of India.
- The Pants Whisperer (NOT Work Safe)
- Durex brings you high entertainment in an interactive format to help you think about your penis and how to best engage in safe, FUN sex. Hilarious!
- iHandcuffs (Work Safe, but it will break your tech-heart)
- BoingBoing reports on this original article in the New York Times on the tragic, evil-big-business-like limitations of Apple's sexy new iPhone.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Transmission # = 7714641359219512365
Rotation Increment = 10:42 AM
How I Got Here
Many people have been asking how I got to this planet, and some basic facts about it. You can find the story of how I got here under About on the left menus. Here is a simple three-answer FAQ to get you started:
Was The Planet Mike named "The Planet Mike" when you got there or did you name it?
I'm still confused on this point myself. As we arrived in Lolita's spaceship, she declared with a sort of grand gesture with her paw out the window, "Welcome to The Planet Mike." She might have been pulling my leg or being metaphorical; I'm not sure. I replied, "This is The Planet Mike," but my voice went down at the end like I was making a statement instead of asking a question as I had intended. She gave me a funny look and kept flying. What I can tell you is that the natives here call it something entirely foreign and too odd to spell or pronounce. I've called it The Planet Mike for simplicity and because I don't really get it.
Does The Planet Mike have a ring?
No. The Planet Mike has never been married, and is still very single.
I still see you on Earth all the time. Are you really on another planet?
There is an impostor-me on Earth? This is the first I've heard of it! Let's run some tests on him. The next time you see him, try a karate-style swoosh of your hand to his side. If it passes through unobstructed, we'll know he's a hologram or some sort of projection. Transmit your findings here back to me. We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Chronomike = 20070129
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Transmission # = 2601216258735572558
Rotation Increment = 10:45 PM
Mono
I found this wonderful virtual pet online today. There are many others like him, but this one is clearly the best.
| adopt your own virtual pet! |
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Chronomike = 20070126
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Transmission # = 1335609745604162274
Rotation Increment = 10:05 PM
Eternal Youth
I came up with an idea to ensure eternal youth this week! At the age when you think you have attained the ultimate beauty that youth has to offer, get a one-inch grid tattooed all over your body, or at least on the parts you want to remain ageless. Then, as you age, all you have to do is have plastic surgeons return your skin to the perfect grid pattern when it gets too distorted with age. You could do this as often as you'd like!
For those of you who don't relish the idea of getting a grid tattooed on your body, how about little dots? Or even better, go for a UV tattoo that only shows up under black light. Just remember, you have to act now. You're not getting any younger.
Did you know these transmissions can be syndicated? Click the orange feed button after the title on top to get the xml version of this page.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Chronomike = 20070121
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Transmission # = 5636664011407436716
Rotation Increment = 7:15 PM
New Word
At work this week we've been discussing air masses. I learned a great word and added it to the dictionary: adiabatically. PV=nRT is my hero.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Transmission # = 7256430113392801349
Rotation Increment = 3:36 PM
Chat Bot Contest
On one of the smaller moons in orbit around the Planet Mike, there is an annual competition of chat bots called the Chatterbox Challenge. Next to the Turing Test, it's pretty much the chat bot contest. This year, I've submitted Love Agent to compete against the best bots around. I think she stands a solid chance since I've been working on her for nearly three years now. The contest involves judges asking her a series of ten questions. They'll also engage her in conversation. She'll be judged on originality, personality, and appropriateness of responses. Also, anyone can vote for their favorite chat bot, so in a few months when the contest officially begins, I'll be asking you to try out some of the other contestants, then vote mine as best!
To prepare for the contest, I created a page about Love Agent featuring some of her funniest quotes under Creations.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Chronomike = 20070119
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Transmission # = 4537833952739231210
Rotation Increment = 9:26 PM
Come in, come in Earth
I didn't do as good of a job as I'd hoped with that directional antenna. I think I was transmitting but not receiving. I recoupled the frequency modulator and it should be good to go now. If only they had Macs on this planet.
It was a long week at work. We pushed through more snow and a spaceship full of work before the big move next week. We're packing up our desks and moving to Visitor Services next week before the new program officially kicks off. I hear the walls are being repainted alien green! I'm worried that some of the natives to the Planet Mike will blend right in. I guess it will be an opportunity to teach about camouflage.
In any case, try your transmissions again. I have high hopes that it will work this time.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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Chronomike = 20070115
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Transmission # = 5794650429010450163
Rotation Increment = 10:47 PM
Earth? Are you there?
I've been working on this directional antenna for days now. First it was the graphic conduit, then the reality scrambler, then the content stabilizer. Is anyone receiving this transmission? Oh, please, let someone from Earth hear this. It's been so long since I've been home.
Transmitted by Michael Bowers
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