There is a planet where one man's fictions and realities exist, intermingled. He explores it alone. These are the transmissions of his findings...

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Transmissions

..........Activating Directional Antenna............
..........Searching for Earth.......................
..........Earth Found!..............................
..........Synchronizing Chronometers................

Chronomike = 20090628

..........BEGIN TRANSMISSION........................
Transmission # = 7358826911150378451
Rotation Increment = 4:44 PM

Mike to English Dictionary

On the Planet Mike, many words and phrases are used that no one in their right mind would use back on Earth. This includes slang, made up words,
words that sound cool, and words with an interesting or new definition.
Many definitions may come from
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

-A-

a priori

adj: made before or without examination; not supported by factual study

abject

adj: showing utter hopelessness or resignation

abortifacient

adj: causing abortion

abscond

v: to leave quickly and secretly and hide oneself, often to avoid arrest or prosecution

adiabatically

adv: occuring as a reversible thermodynamic process without gain or loss of heat and without a change in entropy; "The air mass rose high in the atmosphere, cooling adiabatically due to lower pressure."

adorkable

adj: contraction of adorable and dorky; adorable due to dorkiness (from Andrew Young)

airgasm

n: 1. an orgasm obtained without physical stimulation of any kind; 2. impossible to
achieve

albedo

n: reflective power; specifically the fraction of incident radiation (as light) that is reflected by a surface or body (as the moon or a cloud); "Bald men have higher albedo."

anthropogenic

adj: of, relating to, or resulting from the influence of human beings on nature

asimo

adj: at first appearing to be awesome, only to turn out to be totally stupid

assistant

n: bitch, "She was just being an assistant to me."

aubade

n: a song or poem greeting the dawn; a morning love song; a song or poem of
lovers parting at dawn; morning music

-B-

bakie

n: cookie with pot in it

barista

n: a person who makes espresso coffee as a profession

bark

n: a sailing ship of three or more masts

beauty

n: ingenious conformity; acknowledging the norm while creatively pushing toward
the extreme

beef

n: a complaint

bifurcation

n: a separation into two parts or branches; a fork or division

bigeminy

n: 1. an association in pairs; 2. an abnormal pulse characterized by two beats in rapid succession followed by a pause

birdier

adj: closer to the idealized mental image of the nature of a bird; "A robin is birdier
than a penguin or ostrich."

blave

v: to bluff (from "The Princess Bride")

bling bling

n: shiny, flashy, expensive attire such as jewelry, necklaces, and bracelets, often made of gold, worn to show wealth

Bob Barker

interjection: used to express that a conversation has crossed the line of
appropriateness

boodissy

n: stinky human sweat smell; contraction of booty, dick, and pussy (from the UW football team via Corey Holly)

book

adj: cool (from Ryan Smith, accidentally discovered while typing 'cool' using a T9 input system on a mobile phone.)

borborygmic

adj: characterized by a rumbling noise in the guts

bovine

adj: 1. of or relating to cows; 2. having qualities (as placidity or dullness)
characteristic of oxen or cows

box

n: 1. a computer; can be a PC or server or any device, although it is typically one that processes information, usually described in terms of the operating system; 2. the vulva and vagina

busker

n: a person who plays music or performs entertainment in a public place, usually while soliciting money; street performer

buss

v: to kiss

n: a kiss

buttinski

n: a person that breaks into a conversation, [butt in] (from "Felicity")

buy the boots

v: to commit to doing something in your mind ahead of time, knowing that you will do it whether you want to or not at the time of carrying it out (from Brianne Cohen)

-C-

caesura

n: a break or pause in the rhythm of a poetic line

carabiner

n: an oblong metal ring with a spring clip, often used in mountaineering

catharsis

n: a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from
tension usually through art

centrifugal force

n: a perceived center-fleeing force; offensive term to physicists because it is not a real force (centripetal force is the correct term)

chad

n: small pieces of paper or cardboard generated by punching holes in paper tape
or data cards

cheedle

n: the cheesy stuff left on one's fingers after eating Cheetos

chictionary

n: the little black book, A to Z (from Fred)

clandestine

n: marked by, held in, or conducted with secrecy

clapter

n: applause; laughing is to laughter as clapping is to clapter (from Julia)

cleavage

n: the quality of a crystallized substance or rock of splitting along definite planes

Cold Dance, The

n: a series of arm and leg movements to the lyrics "Doot da-do, I'm cold, doot da-do."
Usually performed when feeling cold or chilly, and often indirectly suggests an action
should be taken to correct this

concatenation

n: linked together in a series or chain

conversate

v: to talk; to have a conversation

copacetic

adj: very satisfactory

corporeal

adj: 1. of, relating to, or characteristic of the body; 2. of a material nature; tangible

crepuscular

adj: 1. relating to the dawn or twilight; 2. active during the dawn or dusk

crunchy

adj: inappropriate, insensitive, or imprudent as when one puts one's foot in one's mouth

-D-

date

n: a planned outing of two or more people based on the romantic intentions of one person toward another, and where that person is aware of those intentions

date and switch

n: a planned outing of two or more people based on the romantic intentions of one person toward another, and where that person is unaware of those intentions until the middle of the outing

decrepitude

n: the quality or condition of being weakened, worn out, impaired, or broken down by old age, illness, or hard use

defenestration

n: the act of throwing a person or thing out of a window

deleterious

adj: harmful often in a subtle or unexpected way

deluge

n: 1. a great flood; 2. the great flood that occurred in the time of Noah

deme

n: a local, usually stable population of interbreeding organisms of the same kind or species

desideratum

n: something desired as essential

deus ex machina

n: 1. "a god from a machine"; a god introduced by means of a crane in ancient Greek and
Roman drama to decide the final outcome; 2. a person or thing (as in fiction or drama) that
appears or is introduced suddenly and unexpectedly and provides a contrived solution to
an apparently insoluble difficulty

dickhole

n: vagina; opposite of pussystick

didactic

adj: intended to convey instruction and information as well as pleasure and
entertainment

dingleberry

n: a piece of dried fecal matter clinging to the hair around the anus

dis

v: (slang) to treat with disrespect or contempt

n: an insult

discoidal

adj: of, resembling, or producing a disk

discourse

n: verbal interchange of ideas

disparate

adj: containing or made up of fundamentally different and often incongruous elements

dog

n: a friend; used as a familiar form of address; "Sup, dog?", "Shit, dog!"

dooky

n: poop; fecal matter

Dopeler Effect

n: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

doppelganger

n: a ghostly double of a living person, especially one that haunts its fleshly counterpart

down

adj: (slang) to feel good about, to be comfortable with; used in phrase
"to be down with..."

down low

n: the act of not sharing information, especially gossip, that should not be shared with all but a person's closest friends; often abreviated D.L.; "Keep that information on the D.L. until I can find out from my friend what really happened."

duplicity

n: 1. deliberate deceptiveness in behavior or speech; 2. the quality or state of being twofold or double

-E-

eat crow

v: be forced to admit a humiliating mistake; eat one's words

ebullient

adj: zestfully enthusiastic; bubbling with enthusiasm

egregious

adj: notably bad; flagrant

emetic

adj: causing vomiting

emote

v: to express emotion, especially in excess

emoticon

n: a typed symbol for a facial expression used to convey emotional state

enigmatical

adj: mysterious

ennui

n: the feeling of being bored caused by something tedious or having nothing interesting or exciting to do

eructation

n: an act or instance of belching

eschew

v: to avoid, shun

esculent

adj: suitable for eating; edible

esoteric

adj: marked by secrecy or privacy, private, select, confidential

equivocate

v: to avoid committing oneself in what one says

exegesis

n: an explanation or critical interpretation of a text

extant

adj: still in existence; not destroyed, lost, or extinct

extemporaneous

adj: carried out or performed with little or no preparation; impromptu

extirpate

v: to destroy totally; exterminate; cause to go extinct

-F-

Fan-Pen Syndrome

n: the uncontrollable urge to stick a pen or other object in the spinning blade of a fan

feelgoodism

n: the state of being feelgood (as defined on the men's bathroom stall wall at the College Inn Pub)

feral

adj: wild; having returned to an untamed state from domestication (as an individual or species)

fetish

n: 1. a part that comes to represent the whole; 2. an object attributed agency or causality; 3. an object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers; 4. an obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation

fist

n: the set of quirks and characteristics of a telegraph operator's personal style of striking the telegraph key

foreploy

n: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

forkable

adj: easily eatten only with a fork, especially using a stabbing motion

fornication

n: consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other

fralker

n: contraction of friend stalker; a friend that stalks you (from Pat Roewe)

frass

n: debris or excrement produced by insects that often looks like sawdust

freshmeat

n: freshman

Friday

n: the last day of a work week not necessarily landing on the sixth day of the week when preceded by a possessive modifier; "Is this your Friday?"

friend

n: a person that you continuously do things with outside of their "typical" environment [i.e. a coworker that you hang out with outside of work, or a peer that you go out with outside of school]; someone that wants to do things with you too

Friendville

n: a highly undesirable place that people go when they don't ask out the
people they like; the state of just being friends; "I've known her for about
three weeks, and I really like her, but I'm afraid we've already entered
Friendville." (from Adam and Dr. Drew on "Loveline")

fruition

n: completion; realization

fugly

adj: (contraction) fucking ugly

fugue

n: a polyphonic composition, developed from a given theme or themes, according to
strict contrapuntal rules. The theme is first given out by one voice or part, and then,
while that pursues its way, it is repeated by another at the interval of a fifth or
fourth, and so on, until all the parts have answered one by one, continuing their
several melodies and interweaving them in one complex progressive whole, in which the
theme is often lost and reappears.

fun size

n: unit of measure equal to about 1.5 inches

-G-

gimp

n: an idiot or loser

ginormous

adj: absurdly large; bigger than giant and enormous; contraction of giant and enormous

go

v, informal: to say or utter; "And he goes, 'let's drive to the store.'"

golden

adj: in a perfect position to accomplish a goal

google

v: to use the Google search engine to seek online information

gorram

adj: (slang) goddamn (from the TV series, "Firefly")

groady

adj: (slang) disgusting

groovy

adj: (slang) very good; cool; "That rave was groovy."

guano

n: sea bird or bat manure

gulag

n: a forced labor camp or prison, especially for political dissidents; "Lunar Five: an orbiting gulag" (Captain Picard).

-H-

hedge

v: to avoid making a clear, direct response or statement; to use a word or phrase, such as "possibly" or "I think", to mitigate or weaken the certainty of a statement

hi factor

n: how likely people are to say "hi" to a given individual, usually "high" or "low" (from Ryan Smith)

homophilic

adj: liking gay people

house booty

n: sex with a roommate; as a rule, house booty is bad booty

hui gan

n: a lingering sweetness or coolness on the tongue or in the throat after drinking certain teas

hush puppy

n: cornmeal dough shaped into small balls and fried in deep fat, especially popular in the southern U.S.

hymen

n: any standard barrier in the way of forming an intimate relationship that must be breached for the relationship to move forward; (ie. e-mail hymen, telephone hymen, dating hymen, etc.)

-I-

iconoclast

n: one who attacks settled beliefs or institutions; literally, image destroyer

idiglocynetic

n: (obsolete) hypothermia on Jupiter (invented by Alice while coming off of anesthesia; originally spelled aidyclolnenetic)

idiom

n: 1. a style or form of artistic expression that is characteristic of an individual,
a period or movement, or a medium or instrument; 2. manner, style

iffy

adj: questionable, uncertain

ignoranus

n: a person who's both stupid and an asshole

interpretation

n: a conversation, guided interaction, or any communication that enriches the visitor experience by inspiring new interests and/or helping the visitor make meaningful connections between the programs and exhibits of an institution and their world (from Pacific Science Center)

impetus

n: a driving force

incorrigible

adj: incapable of being corrected or amended (especially said of a person)

inguinal

adj: of, pertaining to, or situated in the groin

inveigle

v: to lead astray as if blind; to persuade to something evil by
deceptive arts or flattery; to entice; to insnare

-J-

janky

adj: inferior quality; held in low social regard; old and dilapidated, refers almost exclusively to inanimate material objects, not to people

Jeez-It

n: the bread given at Holy Communion representing the body of Christ (from Amanda Sloane)

jodhpur

n: wide-hipped riding pants of heavy cloth, fitting tightly from knee to ankle; "Canadian Mounties wear jodhpurs."

joggle

v: to juggle and jog at the same time (from Hans Nesse)

-K-

kerning

n: the setting of two letters closer together than is usual by removing space between them

-L-

Lars

n: an annoying person that constantly asks irrelevant questions at inappropriate
times; "There's this girl in my anthropology class that is so the Lars; she asks the
stupidest questions."

learn

v: to teach; "I learned him how to write an essay."

[be] like

informal: to say or utter (something to the affect of); "And he's like, 'let's drive to the store.'"

Limbo

n: a small town that detains escapees from Friendville until they are returned to Friendville, or allowed to proceed to the promised land

liminal

adj: of or relating to a sensory threshold; barely perceptible

lollygag

v: to spend time idly

low down

n: information about a given situation; "Give me the low down on why she got fired."

-M-

MacGyver

v: to find a clever solution to a problem using common household objects; "We MacGyvered the broken walkie-talkies at work with bits of eraser and aluminum foil."

Man-Jar Syndrome

n: automatic male reflex to open a jar or other container when male sees
female struggling with it (from Paul Barrett)

masque

n: performance at rite of passage ceremony (usually a wedding);
entertainment extravaganza

melodilly-dally

n: contraction of "melody" and "dilly-dally"; a pleasing succession or arrangement of activities that waste time (from Joe Shelley)

meme

n: an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture; biology is to gene as culture is to meme; a reproducing unit of meaning such as a joke, recipe, or story, that competes with other memes

merkin

n: a wig for a woman's pubic hair

merv

v: 1. to steal or bum off of friends (especially food); 2. to chill or relax, to kick it

n: a food theif

adj: cool (from Lola)

meta

adj: self-referential; referring to itself or its characteristics; "That movie about a movie was so meta."

midden

n: a dunghill or refuse heap often created by packrats by gathering stuff together
and urinating or defecating on it to form a solid mass [note: Middens are often used by archaeologists to reconstruct the past since the items in a midden are all of approximately
the same age.]

MILF

acronym: Mother I'd Like to Fuck

Mini Mackin' Kit

n: small collection of items needed to hit on a girl successfully, including
flowers and mints (from Quannah Parker-McGowen)

mompapa

n: stay-at-home dad, father in the traditional role of a mother

mundanities

n: what I think a lot about; seemingly boring or trivial things

-N-

nappy

adj: homely, unkempt, pathetic

nefarious

adj: infamous by way of being extremely wicked

nobbit

n: a person who is a (re)nob; (see renob)

non sequitur

n: a statement that does not follow logically from what preceded it

nonpareil

adj: having no equal

nonplus

n: a state of perplexity, confusion, or bewilderment

nother

adj: another; "That's a whole nother matter."

numinous

adj: supernatural, holy, spiritual

nutation

n: the act of nodding the head

-O-

obfuscate

v: to make obscure or unclear; to confuse

Odegaard sunrise

n: all-nighter [at the Odegaard library]

ontological

adj: relating to or based upon being or existence

orogenous zone

n: the place on earth's crust where mountains are formed (from Steve Williams)

orrery

n: a mechanical model of the solar system

ort

n: a small scrap or leaving of food after a meal is completed, often used in the plural

ostensibly

adv: in a manner consistent with outward appearances or expected explanations; apparently

ovacule

n: the little packet inside an orange containing orange juice (from Brianne Cohen)

-P-

panacea

n: a remedy for all diseases, evils, or difficulties; a cure-all

paradigm

n: 1. something that serves as a model or pattern; 2. a set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline

peegasm

n: the sensation experienced when peeing feels so goddamn good

peep

n: a friend, usually plural and used possessively; "my peeps"

pernicious

adj: highly injurious, destructive, or deadly; implies irreparable harm done through
evil or insidious corrupting or undermining

perspicacity

n: the capacity to assess situations or circumstances shrewdly
and to draw sound conclusions

pejorative

adj: tending to disparage or belittle; dis

phengophobia

n: fear of daylight or sunshine

pine

v: to yearn intensely and persistently especially for something or someone unattainable

plebeian

adj: 1. of, belonging to, or characteristic of commoners; 2. unrefined or coarse in nature or manner; common or vulgar

pocket call

n: a phone call made from a mobile phone accidentally and often unknown to the caller while the phone remains in the caller's pocket

praxis

n: habitual or established practice; custom

prefunk

v: to drink alcohol before going to a party or bar where more alcohol will be consumed

prevaricate

v: to stray from or evade the truth; equivocate

primitive

adj: an offensive description of people to anthropologists because it implies an objective way to compare and judge people

proxy

n: something that stands in to represent something else

purgation

n: acquittal, clearing of charges against defendant

pussystick

n: penis; opposite of dickhole

-Q-

quadpod

n: chair (from Nancy Wilkinson)

queue

n: a line of waiting people or vehicles

quixotic

adj: foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals, rash lofty romantic ideas, or extravagantly chivalrous action

quotidian

adj: everyday; commonplace; “There's nothing quite like a real... train conductor to add color to a quotidian commute” (Anita Diamant).

-R-

reciprocity

n: the quality or state of being reciprocal; mutual dependence, action, or influence
(idea of "gift for a gift", or in the more familiar negative, "eye for an eye")

reify

v: to regard (something abstract) as a material or concrete thing

renob

n: (insult derived from "boner" spelled backwards) idiot; also "nob" for short

ricockulous

adj: something very ridiculous; so devoid of wisdom or good sense as to
be laughable (from Adam on "Loveline")

rogue

n: one who has no established residence and wanders idly from place to place without
lawful or visible means of support

-S-

sagacious

adj: having or showing keen discernment, sound judgment, and farsightedness; with-it-ness (definition from John Orcutt)

sanguine

adj: 1. sure, confident, optimistic; 2. consisting of or relating to blood; bloody

santorum

n: that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex (from Dan Savage)

schadenfreude

n: enjoyment taken from the misfortune of someone else; taking pleasure in another's pain

schnog

n: a shot of schnapps served in a raw egg shell; contraction of schnapps and eggnog; also called hard-boiled schnog

semiotic

adj: a general philosophical theory of signs and symbols that deals especially with
their function in both artificially constructed and natural languages and comprises
syntactics, semantics, and pragmatics

senescence

n: the study of the biological changes related to aging, with special emphasis on plant, animal, and clinical observations which may apply to humans

set

n: a unit of music or standup comedy; "Jerry just finished his set."

shart

n: a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart; contraction of shit and fart

sheer

adj: thin, fine, and transparent

shiny

adj: (slang) good, great, neat, wonderful, cool (from the TV series, "Firefly")

slope

n: a slow quip; a clever, witty remark often prompted by the occasion, but said or thought of after the moment has passed

smegma

n: a sebaceous secretion, especially the cheesy secretion that collects under the foreskin or around the clitoris

snacky-snack

n: a little snack (from Melissa Metzger)

soda

n: a member of the opposite sex that one wishes to pursue; "I'm gonna go get me some soda." (from Maneesh Nisargand)

spange

v: to ask for spare change

spangle

n: a small, often circular piece of sparkling metal or plastic sewn especially on
garments for decoration

v: to adorn or cause to emit light suddenly in rays or sparks; flash, glance, gleam,
glimmer, glint, glisten, glitter, shimmer, sparkle, or twinkle

spelunk

v: to explore caves

spent

adj: sexually depleted

splendid

adj: very good or satisfying

spoon

v: (old slang) to kiss or cuddle

sprite

n: 1. a compact graphical image; a character that inhabits a computer game; 2. a minor
supernatural being such as a pixie, elf, or spirit

stack and swivel

n: the neck; "I was so mad I almost grabbed him by the stack and swivel!" (from
Melissa Metzger)

stanchion

n: an upright pole, post, or support, often used in conjunction with others connected by rope or ribbon to contain a queue of people or block a passageway

STD

abbr: stereoly transmitted disease; a disease (such as track skipping) that affects
stereos, usually transmitted by sharing CD's, especially used CD's

steatopygia

n: an extreme accumulation of fat on the buttocks often so that the butt meets the back at a right angle

stichomancy

n: the practice of seeking metaphysical insight into the world by reading a
random passage from a book

stratify

v: 1. to form, arrange, or deposit in layers; 2. to arrange or separate into castes,
classes, or social levels

sublimate

v: to divert the expression of an instinctual desire or impulse from its primitive form to one that is considered more socially or culturally acceptable

suckist

n: a person who believes that things fall down because the Earth sucks

suctorial

adj: having organs or parts adapted for sucking or clinging

sup

contraction: "what's up"; shortened from "wassup"

swell

adj: very good, usually used to describe a good happening; "That was a swell party."

synesthesia

n: a condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color

-T-

tight

adj: expertly done; good; "That song was tight!"

truth

n: the intersection of independent lies

-U-

-V-

verbocentric

adj: characterized by the expectation that explanations come in words or verbally

verisimilitude

n: the quality or state of depicting realism (as in art or literature)

visage

n: 1. the face or facial expression of a person; countenance; 2. the appearance of something

-W-

warmid

adj: contraction of warm and humid; both warm and humid (from Cara)

whoreson

n: insult, son of a whore

word

n: a sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning that is shared by two or more individuals

-X-

-Y-

yikes

interjection: used to express mild fear or surprise

yo

informal: used at the end of a sentence to imply familiarity; "How's it going, yo?"

yoink

interjection: used when stealing or otherwise taking something, especially food, and is considered non-auditory onomatopoeia

-Z-

zrbtt

n: the act of pressing one's lips on a soft area of another person's flesh and blowing, producing a noise similar to that created by flatulence (from "The Cosby Show"); pronounced like zerbet or zerbert; also known as a raspberry, rasp, razz, or Bronx Cheer

Zuka

n: all that is pure, good, and delicious; "If only the world had more Zuka in it,
it would be a better place."

Transmitted by Michael Bowers

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